I miss me...

I miss me from back then...
Back then when the smell of flowers
still stired my heart, when I woke up and the birds
chirping away outside would let me know all would be alright.
I miss me running out the door, knowing that there
was a whole world of possibilities outside,
just waiting for me to pick one and make it my own.
I miss wearing sun faded pinkish jeans
and walking my street like I owned it.
I miss sitting on the steps of a building,
leaning against someone's knee,
listening to endless conversations about nothing,
and just feeling safe.
I miss the way people talked about my smile,
or how my hair was picked up by the wind...
I miss the smell of soap in freshly hand washed clothes,
and I miss the confort of coming home,
of belonging and having the feeling I was
designed for greater things.
I miss my grandmother's lap, i miss her voice,
which I can only now remember in my dreams.
I miss the playground games,
my first kiss, my first heart break...
I miss walking under heavy rain with my face up to the sky.
I miss my dog and the way he'd greet me everytime
I'd get home.
I miss not having a care in the world,
singing and dancing like there was no tomorrow,
but being sure that tomorrow would come again.
I miss high school dances and garage parties,
I miss writing a boy's name in my notebook, over and over again...
I miss mistreating boys for not letting be one of them.
I miss the grunge times, when Nirvana was all we'd listen to.
I miss going to the beach when it was still clean enough,
hidding and telling secrets under flannel shirts...
I miss not being afraid of showing who I am.
I miss me... and I want me back!